His Amish Nanny Page 18

  Mrs. Billings still hadn’t arrived, so would it do any harm if she slipped away to speak to Elijah privately? Jessie seized the opportunity and hurried back to the cleaning room and stood at the doorway looking in at him.

  “Forget something?” Elijah asked.

  She walked toward him. “I just wanted to tell you that I wasn’t on a date with Donovan yesterday. We just had lunch, and that was all. Well, we didn’t even get to have lunch, but that’s a long story. Anyway, I heard what he said to you about me being his girl. I’m not his girl; I just wanted you to know that.”

  Elijah casually put his hands on his hips. “I don’t want to mislead you, Jessie. I asked you on a buggy ride because my schweschder kept pestering me to take notice of you. She has it in her head we’d be perfect for each other. It’s clearly not so. Wouldn’t you agree?” He lowered his head waiting for an answer and his eyes remained fixed on hers.

  She knew how convincing and forceful Olive could be. If she was nagging her bruder just as much as she’d been nagging her, no wonder he eventually asked her on a buggy ride. He couldn’t have been clearer letting her know she wasn’t interested. “Jah, I agree. I know how Olive can be. I’d better get back to work.”

  “Jah, me too,” Elijah said.

  Jessie hurried back up the stairs feeling heartbroken. When she reached the room where she’d left her cart, she closed the door and the tears spilled down her cheeks. He’d never liked her at all. Olive had forced him to take notice of her. She pulled a tissue from the box in the bathroom, wiped her eyes, and then blew her nose. Once she had splashed cold water on her face, she decided it must all be in Gott’s plan just like her bruder had told her. Maybe Donovan would change and become the man for her after all.

  Lunchtime came and went with no sign of Donovan. At three o’clock, Jessie looked out the window to see Elijah and his onkel leaving. She moved closer to the window so she could see them drive up the road. Just as they disappeared, she saw Donovan’s car speeding toward the B&B.

  When she looked harder, she saw he wasn’t alone. There was a woman in the seat next to him. With her heart thumping, Jessie watched as Donovan got out of the car, and then hurried to open the passenger-side door. The woman stuck out a high-heel clad foot, placed it on the ground and the rest of her followed. She was tall and willowy with long raven-black hair. Her slender figure was shown off by a figure-hugging black dress. From Donovan’s smile, Jessie knew he was infatuated with her. Side-by-side, the two of them walked into his restaurant.

  With two more hours to go, Jessie made a concerted effort to put Donovan and Elijah out of her mind while she cleaned. That afternoon, they were working on the insides of the windows.

  “There you are,” a familiar voice sounded from behind her.

  It was Donovan and he was smiling. “Hello.” She climbed down from her stepladder and wasted no time telling him what bothered her. “Yesterday you told those men I was your girl.”

  “I want you to be, that’s why.” He folded his arms across his chest. “What do you think about that?”

  Jessie giggled, and her heart beat so hard she could barely breathe. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in Gott and from what you said you have no intention of joining the community.” She drew a quick breath. “You also think deceiving people is all right and I can’t be with someone like that.”

  He smiled, walked forward and put his hands on her shoulders. “All those things I said at the restaurant about deceiving customers was a joke.” Frowning, he continued, “That’s my sense of humor. I didn’t mean to upset you so much. I’m sorry.”

  “What about the things you said about God?”

  “No, that wasn’t a joke.”

  Jessie was disappointed. “Who was that girl in your car when you drove up?”

  He dropped his hands from her shoulders. “I’m not a monk, Jessie. I have needs.”

  Jessie gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth.

  “I can still see you and get my needs met elsewhere; there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “No, I will have nothing more to do with you. I’ll quit my job if I have to. Leave me alone.”

  He stepped back and studied her. “No, you don’t have to do that. Be reasonable, Jessie.”

  “I don’t want to talk about your needs. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have windows to clean.” She turned away and took a step back to the window.

  “Jessie, you might be the girl I marry—eventually. If you play your cards right.”

  “No.” She took her rag out of the bucket and climbed back onto the stepladder and polished the glass. She did not know when he left the room, but when she turned around moments later, he was gone. He wasn’t worth all the excuses she’d made for him.

  Chapter 25

  After dinner that night, it hit Jessie again what a fool she’d been to think she could make a relationship work with an Englischer. She was also embarrassed Olive had forced Elijah to show interest in her.

  Jessie’s father decided it was time they had a familye Bible reading. Glad of the diversion, Jessie read quietly while she nestled into the cushion at the side of the couch. She drew comfort from Gott’s word and knew she’d feel even better after a good night’s sleep.

  When the time came to go to bed, Jessie followed Mark as he hobbled up the stairs. “Your leg seems better.”

  “Jah, it’s not giving me any pain and I can put a little weight on it.”

  “Be careful. You don’t want to break it again.”

  When he got up to the top of the stairs, he whispered, “What’s wrong with you? You hardly said a word all night.”

  “Ach, can you tell?”

  He nodded. She walked into his room, flopped onto the end of his bed and he sat next to her. “Well, go on, little schweschder. You might as well tell me because when this leg gets better I’ll be too busy to listen to all your problems.”

  Jessie shook her head and looked downward. “I don’t know where to start.”

  He sighed. “Sounds like another long story.”

  She took a deep breath. Jessie reminded Mark about her going out to the restaurant for lunch, and bumping into Elijah at the B&B. Then she told him about Elijah being forced into showing her attention. She told him about Donovan and the girl with the long black hair. “Donovan said he has needs. Then he said he might marry me eventually. What do you think of it all?”

  “I’m too polite to tell you what I think, but I know Donovan is not the man for you. Do you still have feelings for him?”

  Jessie wriggled. “I know he’s not for me, but I kind of still like him if I’m honest with you.”

  “That’s only normal. We can’t switch our feelings off quickly. What we can do is choose someone wisely.” Mark put his hand softly on Jessie’s shoulder. “It’s not enough that someone makes your heart race if they’re totally unsuitable. Don’t even allow yourself to think about someone like that.”

  A tear trickled down Jessie’s face. “That was how I felt with Elijah. My head and my heart were right for him, but my heart was too caught up with Donovan, but not my head. Does that even make sense?”

  “Jah, it does. Everything will work out. Things are already heading in the right direction since you’re ruling out the Englischer.”

  Jessie nodded. “Jah, that’s right, but Elijah never really liked me. I liked him a while ago and he never did anything about it, so I put him out of my mind completely. Well, I guess I did, until Olive started pushing him onto me.”

  Mark leaned back into his pillows and put his legs up on the bed. “What would happen if Elijah came to the door right now and asked you on a buggy ride?”

  Jessie smiled. “That would make me happy.”

  “There’s your answer then.”

  “It’s not up to me; I can’t do anything about it now.” Jessie pushed out her bottom lip.

  “Leave everything up to Gott, but at least now, you know who you want.”

  “Denke, Mar
k; you’re a gut bruder.”

  Mark laughed. “Get out of here. I’m tired. I’ve got a big day of doing nothing but sitting around tomorrow. I suppose Mamm will find me something to do again. She usually does.”

  “Gut nacht,” Jessie said, as she walked away.

  After she was in her bedroom, she lay on her bed and her thoughts turned to Donovan and how he had manipulated things so they could have lunch together. She shut her eyes tightly and pushed him out of her mind. Her bruder was right; she would trust in Gott to bring her a husband. “Denke, Gott,” were the last words on her lips before she went to sleep.

  When Jessie got to work the next day, Donovan was waiting for her just inside the front doors. She looked at him, but hurried past without saying a word. He took hold of her by the arm when she was halfway down the hallway and swung her to face him. “Ow. You’re hurting me, Donovan.”

  “What do you want from me?” Lines formed on his forehead.

  “Nothing, nothing at all. I just want to come here, do my job and go home. I want nothing from you.” She stared at his fingers wrapped around her wrist and then he released her.

  “I was truthful. A lot of men would’ve lied to you.”

  She lifted her chin slightly. “I wouldn’t have had anything to do with them either.”

  “Are you saying you’re not interested in me because I told you the truth? Should I have lied?”

  “No. I mean yes. I mean, I’m not interested in you. Telling the truth or lies is your choice to make. I’m Amish and you’re not and it simply wouldn’t work.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You could leave the Amish, though. Then we could be together properly.”

  “I would never do that. I couldn’t.” Jessie shook her head.

  “Well, that’s that then, is it?”

  Jessie nodded and hurried to the cleaning room thinking that she’d rather be anywhere than where she was right now. Her vadder said she didn’t have to work so maybe she’d be better off if she quit the job. But then she’d be a burden on her familye once again, and she liked being able to pay her own way. It made her feel grown up and responsible.

  * * *

  At lunchtime, rather than risk Donovan sitting with her under the tree, she went into town with Linda.

  “Not having lunch with Donovan today?” Linda gave her a sideways glance as she clutched the steering wheel.

  “No, we never had lunch together. I sat under a tree and he joined me.”

  Linda chortled. “If that’s what you wanna say, then good on ya. I did warn ya about ‘im. I’ve seen many girls swayed by his sweet talk.”

  “I’m not one of those girls.”

  “How about if we go to the bakery? I’m feeling like a pie,” Linda said.

  “The bakery sounds good.” Anything sounded good to her as long as it was far away from work and Donovan.

  As they sat eating pies and cream cakes, Jessie realized the more she talked to Linda, the more she liked her. Time flew too quickly and then they were on the drive back to work. “I can’t remember the last time I ate so much.” Jessie patted her tummy.

  “I thought you Amish folk ate a lot.”

  “We have a lot of food at our weddings and I guess we have a good spread of food at all our events. I’m usually helping though so I don’t get to eat much.”

  “We need energy this afternoon because we’re spring cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom.”

  “Sounds good. I like to have something to keep busy.”

  Linda pulled into one of the staff parking spots and they hurried into the building.

  That afternoon, Jessie put all her energy into cleaning. Every time thoughts of Donovan or Elijah popped into her mind, she scrubbed harder. Fortunately, it was easy to keep her mind focused on other things especially since Linda kept talking.

  Not long after she got home, she heard hoofbeats and looked out the window to see Elijah. She nervously licked her lips; he had to be there to see her. She went outside to meet him. He got out of his buggy and met her halfway to the haus. “This is a surprise, to see you.” Jessie straightened her apron.

  “I’ve come to tell you I wasn’t truthful with you.”

  Not him too. “In what way?”

  “I told you that Olive prompted me to see more of you. The truth is that, well, the way I remember it is, I’m the one who asked Olive what you thought of me.”

  At that moment, movement from near Elijah’s buggy caught her eye. She looked to see Mark getting out of the buggy. Jessie frowned as she looked back at Elijah.

  “Denke for driving me home,” Mark said, as he made his way past both of them. “Hello, schweschder,” he called over his shoulder as he hobbled on his crutches up the porch steps.

  Jessie was too shocked to speak. Had her bruder divulged all her personal thoughts and feelings to Elijah? Is that why Elijah was now telling her the truth and being so open? “My bruder has been speaking to you about me?”

  “Your name might’ve come up in conversation.” His lips turned upward at the corners. “Did I ever tell you your eyes are a most lively shade of green?”

  “Nee, you’ve never mentioned my eyes.” Jessie’s heart pitter-pattered like it never had before.

  Their moment was ruined when Jessie’s mother called out, “You’ll stay for dinner won’t you, Elijah?”

  Jessie closed her eyes with embarrassment. Her whole family was conspiring against her.

  “Jah denke, Mrs. Miller, I will.” He looked down at Jessie, and said softly, “As long as that’s all right with you, Jessie?”

  She wanted to know exactly what her bruder had told him. She wanted to ask why he’d said he wasn’t interested in her, but all that could wait. Looking into his eyes, she silently thanked Gott for bringing him back to her. “It’s more than all right with me.”

  They smiled at each other and walked into the haus side-by-side.

  * * *

  All Jessie remembered of dinner was eating shepherd’s pie and hoping for a chance to be alone with Elijah afterward. After dinner, it was Jessie’s father who suggested Jessie and Elijah have hot tea on the porch. From that, it was clear everyone knew why Elijah was there.

  “Denke, Mr. Miller, I think we’d like that,” Elijah responded to Jessie’s father’s suggestion while grinning at Jessie.

  Jessie nodded as she rose from the table. Then she looked at her mother who would have to clean up by herself. As though Mamm knew what she was on her mind, she gave a nod as if to say, ‘go ahead.’

  With cups of hot tea in hand, both Elijah and Jessie stepped onto the porch and sat down. Jessie found it hard to stop smiling and her cheeks ached. With no table separating them, they both placed their tea at their feet.

  Elijah breathed out heavily. “It’s another wunderbaar summer’s night.” Looking up at the stars, she was just about to agree when Elijah said, “Jessie, I acted like a fool when I saw you with Donovan Billings. I was mad with jealousy to see you in his car. I was even worse after the things he said.”

  “I understand.”

  “I need to ask you why you were in his car.”

  Jessie swallowed hard. Could she tell him that she had once liked both of them? Would he leave her if she told him the truth? “Elijah, you were not the only one who was a fool.” She picked up her tea from the porch floor and looked straight ahead. “He kept asking me on a date, and I kept saying no, and then he asked about the lunch, which he insisted wasn’t a date. I was silly enough to go with him after he assured me it wasn’t a date, but still, I know now I shouldn’t have gone.” She sipped her tea, then turned and placed the cup on the table next to her, on the side away from Elijah. She turned back to face him. “I don’t like him in that way. I liked him once, or I thought I did, but not anymore.”

  Elijah smiled and placed his hand on top of hers. “We all make mistakes. I made one two years ago when I chickened out.”

  “With me?” Jessie remembered the fun times they’d had at the volleybal
l nights and their long talks. She could never figure why he hadn’t taken things further.

  He took hold of her hand. “I terrified myself with visions of you saying ‘no’ to me. Then fear caused me to distance myself.”

  “Why is now different?”

  He leaned into her and Jessie could smell his warm male scent, woodsy with a hint of sandalwood. “I’m taking a risk. My schweschder did have something to do with it. She gave me the push I needed. Mind you, she didn’t know how I felt about you, I’m sure.”

  Jessie’s body tingled when she looked down at their clasped hands.

  “I love you, Jessie Miller.”

  Jessie looked deeply into his eyes. He said love, not like. She could feel the sincerity of his words and blinked back the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. “You do?”

  He nodded, put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. A loud throat-clearing from Jessie’s father inside the house caused Elijah to pull his arm back.

  Jessie giggled and hoped her father could not hear or see what was happening on the porch.

  Elijah smiled and leaned close once more. “Will you be my girl, Jessie?”

  Jessie sniffed quietly as a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. “Jah, jah of course I will.” She looked at him and captured every detail, so she could remember the moment forever. The cool fresh air caressing her skin, the way she felt inside and how good it was to have a man like Elijah interested in her.

  He smiled and leaned into her once more and gave her a quick, cheeky kiss on her forehead.

  “Can I ask you something, Elijah?”

  “Jah, anything.”

  “What did Mark say to you today?”

  Elijah chuckled. “Let’s just say some things are better left a mystery.”

  Jessie pushed her bottom lip out. “Aw, come on tell me.”

  He leaned into her again, and whispered in her ear, “He said I’d be a fool to let you slip away, and he wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know already.”