Amish Widow's Secret Read online

  Amish Widow’s Secret

  Expectant Amish Widows Book 9

  Samantha Price

  Copyright © 2016 by Samantha Price

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

  * * *

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The personal names have been invented by the author, and any likeness to the name of any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  EXPECTANT AMISH WIDOWS

  About Samantha Price

  Chapter 1

  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;

  and all these things shall be added unto you.

  Matthew 6:33

  * * *

  Cassandra Yoder stood rooted to the spot and stared at the home where she’d grown up. It was a white house with a red roof, pretty much the same as all the other farmhouses in the area. Upstairs were five bedrooms that had housed her parents, five older sisters, herself and her younger sister. Now the only child left at home was Gretchen, the youngest daughter. Cassandra had always been different, always felt different, from the rest of the family. Her mother used to say to her all the time, 'I don't know who you take after,' and, ‘You're nothing like the rest of the familye.’

  A ruby-throated hummingbird with its long curved beak flitted from flower to flower, drawing Cassandra's attention away from her melancholy thoughts.

  The main difference between her family home and every other Amish home in the area was the garden that her mother lovingly tended every day. It was spring and the blooms were out in full flower.

  Cassandra looked down at the bag at her feet, which the taxi driver must have placed there before he drove away. She was in a daze. She'd never wanted to come back here—back to the Amish, but now she had nowhere else to go. There was no one else to turn to.

  She’d left on rumspringa with her childhood friend, Jake, who had become, over their teenage years, her boyfriend. They’d stayed together until recently. Jake had returned to the community leaving Cassandra to pay the entire rent on their small apartment. He’d wanted to get married and for the two of them to return to the community together. That wasn't the only difference of opinion they’d had.

  Now that she was standing in front of the house, she wondered how she would feel facing her parents and the rest of the community, considering that she hadn’t gone to Jake's funeral.

  The same week that Jake had gone back to the Amish he'd been killed in an armed hold-up at a gas station. Jake had been there to buy a bottle of soda and a stray bullet had killed him instantly. She still hadn’t forgiven him for leaving her and their unborn child and besides that she couldn’t face the scrutiny of Bishop Joel, her parents, or the Amish community.

  Now she knew she would have to face their judgment; she couldn't see any other way around it. Cassandra knew her parents would be deeply ashamed of her once they found out she was expecting a child out of wedlock. Jake and she had been living as man and wife from the time they had left the community. While they had lived in the community, they had gotten along fine, but the financial pressures and the Englisch world had made their differences come to light all too vividly. They both realized they had nothing in common and were unsuited to be a couple.

  Jake could never understand why Cassandra didn’t want to return to the community. After a final row, Jake had walked out on her and their baby. He'd talked about leaving her for months, maybe hoping that would change her mind, before he left for good. Even the news that he was going to be a father didn’t make him stay with her. Jake deserted her, leaving her alone—an unmarried mother—without the marriage vows but as good as a widow.

  Thankfully, Jake hadn't told anybody about her pregnancy. She knew that for a fact because no one in the community had reached out to her.

  Her tummy flip-flopped just thinking about how her parents would react to her news. She knew she couldn't keep the baby and neither did she want to, but would her parents try to make her keep the child? They would be so embarrassed by her condition and worried about their reputation; that's one thing Cassandra knew for sure and for certain.

  But she’d had to come home. Her waitressing job didn't pay much and then her hours had been cut right back. With Jake gone, without his income, all the bills had added up and some of them were now left unpaid.

  She hadn't seen her family since she left nearly two years ago. Now she realized that she should've kept in touch with them. It was awkward just landing on the doorstep like this and expecting them to open their arms and welcome her home after she’d turned her back on them. Now she knew what it felt like to have someone turn their back; Jake had done so to her and their unborn child.

  When Cassandra had been a young girl, she knew she would marry Jake and Jake felt the same back then, but it wasn't to be. She was now alone and facing the world with the biggest problem she could ever imagine a woman having to face.

  If she could turn back the clock, she wouldn’t have taken that apartment with Jake. She would've taken one with another girl. It had been a silly move to live together as man and wife, but she’d thought she knew him. It was most likely the guilt that they’d both felt from living together that finally drove them apart. Nevertheless, the Jake she thought she knew would’ve stood by her no matter what. She was bitterly disappointed in Jake and that was the reason she hadn’t gone to his funeral.

  Chapter 2

  While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest,

  and cold and heat, and summer and winter,

  and day and night shall not cease.

  Genesis 8:22

  * * *

  The front door opened, and a young woman stood in the doorway and then took a step out onto the porch. It was Gretchen—she’d grown taller and thinner. Gone was the chubby-cheeked girl she’d argued with nearly every day of her life.

  Gretchen wore a purple dress with starched white apron and starched white prayer kapp. She was a perfect picture, just as always. Cassandra was now all too aware that she was wearing jeans that she was busting out of, a tee shirt and high-heeled boots. If she were really going to do this and return home, she’d have to resume wearing dresses and kapps.

  If there was one thing she'd been pleased to see the end of when she left the community, it was wearing the dratted kapp day in and day out. More than the kapp, she hated what it represented. It symbolized man having the rule over women and that is something she refused to believe. She was going to be her own boss and no one would ‘lord it’ over her and tell her what to do; not her parents, not her older sisters, and not Jake.”

  There was no hint of a smile on Gretc
hen’s face when she stepped forward and asked, "What are you doing back home?"

  The question was worthy of an answer. Gretchen clearly hadn’t changed. "Where are Mamm and Dat?"

  "Dat’s working and Mamm’s here somewhere."

  Cassandra looked down at the bag by her feet, took a deep breath, and then took hold of the handle and stepped forward to walk inside.

  Gretchen moved to block her way. "Are you moving back?"

  "What's it to you?"

  “I live here and I didn't leave. Did you write and ask Mamm and Dat if you could come back?"

  "Get out of my way, Gretchen."

  "Or what?"

  "Or I'll drop this bag on your toe and I can tell you right now it's pretty heavy.” Cassandra stared at Gretchen until she moved out of the way. "Finally!" Cassandra said as she stepped through the doorway past Gretchen. She walked in the door and dropped her bag on the floor. "Mamm!" she hollered.

  "Just as selfish as always, leaving your bag right there instead of taking it up to your room."

  Cassandra swung around to face her sister. "Why don't you take it up to my room for me?"

  "I don't have to take orders from you."

  "Well stop complaining, then."

  "Cassie, is that you?"

  Cassandra heard her mother’s voice calling from the top of the stairs. "Yeah, Mamm, it's me."

  She flew down the stairs and when she got to the bottom, she ran to her daughter. She wrapped her arms around her. "I knew you'd come back to us.”

  "She's probably only here because she's got no other place to go. That's my guess,” Gretchen said.

  "Stop it, Gretchen. You should be pleased to see your sister back home. Now, run and tell your vadder that our Cassie has come home to us.”

  Cassandra's mother being shorter than all her daughters looked up into Cassandra's face. "You are staying, aren't you?"

  "Jah I'm staying for awhile, but I don't know how long." Cassandra took a look at her younger sister. "Mamm told you to tell Dat I'm here. That's what Mamm said, now go.”

  "Okay, I'm going." Gretchen headed off into the fields to get her father.

  “Cassandra, I'm so happy to see you. I knew you’d come back to us one day.”

  "I need to talk to you and Dat about something important. I've got myself into a situation and I need to figure out how to get out of it."

  "Do you owe people money?"

  "Jah, but that’s not the main problem. I owe a couple of weeks rent and a few things like that, but that doesn't matter."

  Her mother gasped. "It does matter. You can't owe people money. That's dreadful."

  "Well, if you're so upset about it, you can pay the debts off. It's only a few hundred dollars."

  Her mother touched her stomach. "A few hundred dollars? That's a lot of money. Why would you think your vadder and I would pay it for you?"

  "Well I don't care about it; if you do, you can pay it."

  Her mother frowned at her and Cassandra knew what her mother was thinking—she'd heard it all before. I can't believe I ever had a daughter like you. I don't know where you come from. Sometimes I wonder if you're really mine with your sharp tongue and your dark hair. Everyone else in the family had blonde hair or strawberry blonde; Cassandra was the only dark haired one in the whole family.

  "No one touched my room, did they? I bet Gretchen took it over.”

  "We haven't done anything to your room. It’s just the same as you left it except it's cleaner, of course, and the bed is made."

  "Why do you have to throw things like that in my face? I suppose I left the bed unmade? I can't believe you’ve been holding a grudge like that for so long.”

  “Cassandra, you never made your bed. I’m simply pointing that out to you, and you always left your room in a filthy state. None of your sisters did that, ever.”

  “I'm sorry, Mamm, I’m just tired and cranky. I never want to argue."

  Her mother smiled at her. “Come into the kitchen and I’ll fix you a glass of meadow tea.”

  The reason Cassandra didn't want to argue was that she knew in a few minutes she’d be telling both of her parents something that would upset them greatly. There was no point in arguing about not making her bed years ago.

  Cassandra's father came through the door just as she had sat down at the kitchen table.

  “There’s my girl,” he said as he hurried toward her.

  She stood up and he hugged her for a moment before she pushed him away. “Dat, you’re all sweaty and smelly. Phew!”

  “He’s been working, that’s why,” her mother said.

  "It's good to see you, Dat."

  Her father said, "You never visit us. Does this mean you’re home for good now?"

  "That depends on the both of you. I need to have a talk with you.”

  "Jah, it will be interesting to hear what you have to say," Gretchen said.

  She looked up to see her sister with her arms folded, leaning against the kitchen wall.

  "I'm not talking with you. I said I want to talk with Mamm and Dat. I don't want you to be here at all."

  "Now girls, stop arguing at once," her mother said.

  "Gretchen, you go up to your room for half an hour," her father ordered.

  "Why am I getting punished? I haven't done anything. I've always been here and I've never left. She’s been gone for two years doing exactly as she pleases, and you treat her real nice when she comes back? It’s not fair!"

  Her mother glared at her. “Life’s not meant to be fair. It’s best you learn that early!”

  “Go to your room, Gretchen,” her father repeated in a calm voice.

  Mrs. Yoder added, "You're not being punished; we just want to speak with your schweschder in private."

  "I'm part of the family. I don't see why I can’t listen in."

  "Just go," Mr. Yoder said.

  Gretchen pouted and then walked out of the room.

  Chapter 3

  Ask, and it shall be given you;

  seek, and ye shall find;

  knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

  Matthew 7:7

  * * *

  Cassandra’s mother placed three glasses of meadow tea on the table.

  “Denke.” Cassandra took a sip of the sweet mint-infused meadow tea. When she placed the glass down on the table, she realized there was no going back. She looked from one parent to the other. "I've got something to tell you and neither of you is going to like it." She took a deep breath. “The thing is, I'm having a boppli."

  "Nee!" Her mother put her hand over her heart with a pained expression on her face as though she were having a heart attack.

  "And in case you're wondering, it's Jake’s. Not that he cared about it, he just walked out and left me to pay all the bills and the rent on our apartment."

  "He knew about this?" her father asked.

  "Jah, he knew about it and he deserted me without a care. He said he wanted to come back to the community and he owed me nothing if I didn't return with him." She shook her head. She had to make her parents see how horrible it had been for her, after living with Jake for so long.

  Both parents sat there stunned, so Cassandra thought she should fill the silence with words of explanation. "We got along before we left the community. He wasn't the person I thought he was. He changed."

  "He can't answer for himself now, so it’s best you don’t speak about him in that way,” her father said. “Now, you have to figure out what you're going to do."

  "What I'm going to do? I'm only telling you because I want you both to tell me what you think I should do. I can't keep it. I don't want it." Cassandra scowled at the thought of looking after a child.

  "Tell me this, did you come back because you wanted to return to the community or because you need our help?" he asked.

  "I don't know. Does it really matter?”

  "It matters a great deal. We’ll help you, but it's your relationship with Gott I'm more concerned about rather than earthly
matters."

  "This time, Dat, I need your help. It’s important because whether you like it or not there's going to be a boppli. You have to help me figure out what to do, or I’ll just dump it somewhere. I thought you and Mamm would at least help me find it a decent home.”

  Her mother lifted herself from her chair. “Stop calling the boppli an ‘it.’ Your boppli is a small person already.” Once she’d made her point, her mother sat back down. Tears fell down her face and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

  Cassandra’s father moved to sit next to his wife and he placed his arm around her. “It’s okay, Thelma, we’ll get through this."

  Cassandra jumped up. "You'll get through this? You’re acting like this is your problem, but it's my problem. It’s happening to me! Or are you worried about what people will say? Is that it? Is that all you care about?"

  "Sit down, Cassandra," her father ordered. "I've got no patience for your antics. We’ll help you figure out what to do, but as your parents, we’re supposed to be leading and guiding you in the right way to live. We’ve failed with you.”

  “I can figure that out for myself. I'm not a child anymore. I'll have the baby and then figure out what I wanna do with my life. I might stay in the community and I might not. Who knows?" Cassandra knew very well that she didn't want to stay in the community, but now was not the time or place to tell her parents that. She needed their help, and having them think she was going to stay on in the community was the best way she knew to get it.