The Amish Woman And Her Secret Baby_Amish Romance Read online

  After some grunting and a few sighs, Samuel walked back into the room and sat heavily beside Mary. He lifted his feet up, setting them down on a small table as he lay back with his hands behind his head. She wanted to ask what on earth he was doing, but before she found the words, she glanced at him to see his eyes closed.

  Is he seriously going to take a nap right next to me? Shocked at his behavior, Mary stood and headed into the kitchen to join Beth.

  Beth held a glass of water in her hand as she offered Mary a subdued smile. “Sorry about that, but he doesn’t like to see me upset, and I guess he misinterpreted the situation he walked in on.”

  “Oh,” Mary said, realizing that whether he was an awful person or not didn’t matter because he was still Beth’s brother.

  Chapter 5

  The months had passed by quickly since both William and Beth had agreed to raise Mary’s baby as their own. Mary was over four months along, and her stomach finally showed proof of her condition. Going along with the idea that she and Beth had come up with, it was now time to put their plan into action. The story they concocted was that Beth was going somewhere quiet for her last months of pregnancy, with Mary as her companion and caregiver. Since she’d had multiple miscarriages everyone would believe she needed complete rest.

  In reality, they were going to stay at a small cabin that was owned by one of William’s uncles. William had gone there often as a youngster, and they knew it was left abandoned most of the year, making it the best place for them to stay until the birth.

  There was one exceptionally good thing about the plan; Beth’s arrogant brother, Samuel, would have no idea of the truth, and that was exactly how Mary felt it should be. If anyone found out that Beth’s baby was hers, who knew what trouble it could cause? After all, the entire reason Mary was forcing herself to give her child away was to avoid such complications. Even Mary and Beth’s good friend, Karen, would never know the truth.

  William drove both women to the cabin in the dead of night. When they arrived at the cabin, Mary saw that the area looked like something out of her nightmares.

  As Mary gazed at the exterior of the cabin, she asked William, “Do you think we’ll be safe here for the next few months?”

  “Jah, and you won’t be alone. I’ll make weekly trips out here and bring you everything you’ll need. This will work out,” William said. “The winter has passed, and I’ll make sure you have whatever you need.”

  “Okay, denke,” Mary said, her fears quietly subsiding for the time being.

  “Please be safe on your trip back home,” Beth said, offering her husband a goodbye kiss before he left.

  “I’ll get you both settled inside before I leave. There’s a phone in the shanty at the end of the road,” William said.

  “We’ll be okay, William. You start on your way back. I know where everything is,” Beth said.

  Mary said goodbye to William and walked into the house to give the couple a chance to say their goodbyes in private. When Mary heard the buggy drive away, she looked out the window and saw Beth. The pale moonlight outlined the buggy until he was over the hillcrest in the distance.

  Beth then turned toward the cabin. “Are you okay, Mary?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Have you had a look around?” Beth asked her when she found Mary by the window.

  “Not yet. It's pretty dark.”

  “There’s not really much to see. It’s not as bad as it looks from outside.”

  From what Mary could see by the moonlight, the cabin looked as though it hadn’t been visited in ages.

  “I’ll find a light.” Beth flicked a switch and a gaslight flickered to life, illuminating the entire room. “Let there be light,” she said, flashing her friend a big smile.”

  After Beth showed her through the tiny two-bedroom cabin, they sat down on the couch. It was the only place to sit since there wasn’t even room for a dining table. “See, I told you it wasn’t so bad. We have everything we need, and there’s that midwife in town who won’t ask questions,” Beth said, dusting off the table that the lamp stood on. “We can get things cleaned up in the morning. Everything is going to work out.”

  Beth had been right. The months passed by comfortably. Now, Mary and Beth were outside the midwife’s home, hoping that Mary’s constant pains meant the baby was finally about to arrive.

  “Good morning, ladies,” the midwife said as she showed them through to a bedroom. “My regular birth helper is unwell. I have another young woman here and she is highly recommended by Marilyn, my cousin. Would you mind if she assists?”

  “That’s fine if Marilyn’s says so,” Mary said.

  “I do. You can come in, Rebecca.”

  “Rebecca!” Beth gasped as she walked in. It was Bishop Elmer’s daughter.

  Rebecca was surprised to see them and then looked down at Mary’s belly. “Um, this is a surprise. In more ways than one.”

  Mary said, “I’m having it, but Beth is raising the child. This was to be a secret. That’s why we didn’t use Marilyn, the community midwife.” Mary looked at Marilyn’s cousin, who’d they’d already sworn to secrecy. Then Mary suddenly sobbed loudly.

  Rebecca rushed to her. “Mary, it’s okay. I’ve been doing this for a year and I’ve had to keep more than one secret. It’s your secret to keep, not mine to tell. Don’t worry, you can trust me.”

  “And me,” the midwife said. “Don’t upset yourself, Mary.”

  “Really?” Beth asked Rebecca. “You’ll not say anything?”

  “Nee. I’ll take this to my grave.”

  “Denke, Rebecca.”

  The midwife then ordered Mary to lie down, and after touching her stomach to feel her contractions, she said, “You should stay here. Don’t go home. Your baby’s coming later today. I’ll keep coming in to check on you.”

  The midwife quickly disappeared and Rebecca stayed with them.

  “I can’t believe it’s finally happening. Do you hope it’s a girl or a boy?” Mary asked trying to breathe through the overwhelming pain she was experiencing. It was a repeat of a conversation they’d had many times before, but Mary had to talk about something.

  “William and I don’t care. We just want to complete our family. One child, boy or girl, would be enough for us.”

  Mary hid her envy. Why hadn’t things worked out for her? The friends had often commented that one had the husband and one would soon have the child. What was God trying to teach the two of them when most women their age had husbands and had no trouble having babies?

  As they sat and talked that day, the pains grew worse until Mary screamed in agony. Rebecca hurried to get the midwife.

  When the contractions stalled, the midwife informed Mary it would soon be time to push. Mary was soon overcome by a different kind of pain. After twenty minutes of pushing, cries sounded in Mary’s ears. It was a relief. The baby was alive and the birthing was over.

  The midwife placed the baby on Mary’s stomach. “You’ve got a healthy baby girl.”

  Mary’s hands went instinctively to her small baby and the connection was instant. This baby was part of her and she was part of her child. She was her blessing. God had taken Damian away, but had blessed her with a baby girl. In that moment, Mary knew she could overcome all her problems. She held the baby, closed her eyes and felt the love run through her body. She’d had no idea she’d feel this way.

  When Mary’s eyes slowly opened, she saw Beth with tears running down her face. “Can I hold her now?”

  “Jah.”

  Beth leaned forward and lifted the baby into her arms. The baby yelled as though she knew she was being taken from her mother. Mary turned her head regretting the decision she had made. But when she heard the soft cooing sound of Beth’s voice as the baby stopped crying, Mary knew she couldn’t go back on her decision. Beth didn’t deserve another disappointment and her baby would have the best life possible with two loving parents.

  “She’s so perfect, Mary,” Rebe
cca said.

  “She’s beautiful,” Beth agreed.

  Mary turned her head; she hadn’t really had a good look at her. Her face was round and surprisingly unwrinkled for a newborn. “She’s lovely.”

  “Did you want to name her, or can I?”

  Mary felt her heart breaking and tears flooded down her cheeks. Without the baby, she’d have nothing. What would she live for? She hadn't known she’d feel like this.

  The midwife came back. “There’s no hurry, but would you like to try to feed her now?”

  “No.” Mary didn’t want to bond with her further. She didn't dare to, as she couldn’t go back on the decision she’d already made.

  “I’m going to bottle feed her,” Beth said.

  “Okay. I’ll have one made up for you, or have you brought your own?”

  “I’ve brought our own,” Beth said getting up with the baby in her arms.

  “Stay there. Is it in this bag?” the midwife asked.

  “Yes.”

  When the midwife took the formula away, Rebecca left the room, too.

  Mary looked down at the baby. “Even though she came from me, she’s yours. Name her anything you like.” Mary tried to smile but couldn’t. She was empty and uncomfortable. At that moment, she wished the baby could go back inside and then she would be close to her again.

  “Are you certain I can name her?” Beth asked. “Are you sure you don’t want to change your mind? I’ll be okay if you do, and so will William. It’s still not too late to change your mind.”

  Mary closed her eyes and knew she had to be strong. She’d given her word they could have the baby. In a split second, all the reasons she wanted Beth and William to raise her baby flooded back into her mind. It didn’t matter what she wanted. What mattered was what was best for her child. “Of course I am sure. I’m not going to change my mind.”

  “Don’t decide now. Wait a few days until William’s able to fetch us. We talked about what would happen if you change your mind and we’re both okay with it and we’ll still be there to support you in every way we can.”

  That sounded tempting, but it wouldn’t be a proper life for her baby. “I’ve made up my mind and I won’t change it.”

  Beth looked at the baby and said, “I will call her Lois.”

  “A lovely name.” Lois was guaranteed a good life; the kind of life Mary had never had. Mary fixed a smile on her face. She was happy for Beth and the baby, but she couldn’t shake the emptiness within.

  Chapter 6

  When they had first returned home, Mary and Beth were worried someone might find out the truth. They tried not to worry that Rebecca might tell someone. She had sounded convincing at the birth when she gave her word, but Rebecca was still a teenager and childlike in so many ways.

  For months, the two women played their roles, with Mary being a good friend of the family, much like a surrogate auntie, and Beth being Lois’s mother. For almost the first year their story unfolded nicely. Not even their good friend, Karen, knew the truth.

  Mary would stop by to visit often, sometimes as many as three times a week.

  It was a warm summer day when the worst news in the world reached Mary’s ears. Bishop Elmer knocked on the door of her aunt and uncle’s haus where Mary still lived. Her uncle opened the door to the bishop, who then whispered something to him. Uncle Joel ushered him inside and called both Mary and Aunt Gretel to hear what the bishop had to say.

  “I’ve got news and it will affect you most, Mary. I know you were close with Beth.”

  One word cut like a knife through Mary’s heart. Mary’s hands curled into fists and then they went to her mouth. “'Were?' Did you say, were?”

  He nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but she got in first.

  “What’s happened?”

  “There was a bad accident. Both Beth and William have gone home to be with Gott.”

  It was like the shock of her own husband being killed all over again. Worse, even. “Nee!” Mary fell to the floor sobbing. Then she looked up and asked the question she was so fearful of asking. “The boppli?” Tears streamed down her face as her aunt was now kneeling on the floor beside her with her arms around her, trying to comfort her.

  “From what we know so far, something spooked their horse, causing their buggy to veer off the road. The wreck was bad, but, Gott be praised, they’d left the infant with Samuel.”

  “Gott has spared Lois?” Mary asked. He had to have or she couldn’t go on living.

  “Jah, that is right.”

  Mary sobbed with relief that Lois was safe, but without her parents how would she have the life that Mary had done her best to ensure? Shaking her head profusely, she looked up at the bishop and swallowed hard. “Both Beth and William are …?”

  He took off his hat and nodded.

  The floodgates opened and tears spilled from Mary’s eyes like never before. Her aunt and uncle helped her onto the couch while Bishop Elmer helplessly looked on. She finally looked up at the bishop seated opposite.

  “They’re with Gott now, Mary,” he said.

  “I know, but it was so sudden and she was my best friend in the world. And … and Lois is ….” She wanted to say Lois is mine, but the words would not come out of her mouth. There’d never been an official adoption, just two handwritten agreements that she and William had devised. William had insisted there be some record. It was nothing legal and nothing binding. It merely stated the intention of the adoption. One copy for them and one copy for her. More than anything she wanted to take Lois back, but for what? To live on the generosity of her great aunt and uncle, who’d taken her in? “What’s going to … Lois?” Was her baby about to live the same life that she’d had, going from house to house, distant relative to distant relative and having no one who cared for her deeply? That’s exactly what Mary had worked so hard to prevent.

  “Samuel is taking care of the baby. If you’d like, I can give you a ride to see them. I’m sure he could use some company right now.”

  “Jah, go see him,” Aunt Gretel urged.

  She’d see Lois and she’d want to take her back, but then what? She earned a little money from taking in sewing, but only enough to pay for her food. How would she be able to look after Lois and have enough to rent them a house?

  Right now, she had to see Lois and hold her tight. God had to have another plan in all this. “I think that would be a good idea.” Mary stood and grabbed her black shawl while the bishop donned his hat and together they walked to his waiting buggy.

  The bishop’s wife was in the buggy drying her tears.

  “Hello, Hannah,” Mary said.

  Hannah nodded.

  “At least their child is safe,” the bishop said to his wife while climbing into the driver’s seat. “We’re taking Mary to see Samuel and Lois.”

  Hannah paused before climbing up, her mind running at a furious pace. For a brief moment, she again considered telling everyone the truth, but would that do anything to help Lois have the best life possible? Probably not. Mary decided to continue with the ruse that Lois was William and Beth’s daughter and see how things unfolded. She could always tell the truth and take Lois if she decided Lois would be better off with her.

  “Is something wrong?” the bishop asked, peering over at Mary as she stood beside the buggy.

  She climbed in. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about everything. I was just at their place last night; it’s so unbelievable that this is real. I think half of me is still in shock, and the other can’t believe it.” Just then, she looked down at her arm and pinched hard, but other than a sharp pain, nothing happened. “I guess it’s not all just a horrible nightmare,” Mary whispered.

  She’d lost her best friend, and not only that, she’d lost her daughter’s security.

  Chapter 7

  Mary had sat down in Bishop Elmer’s buggy before he set off, her mind filled with darkness and pain. It was too much for her to hold in, and going to see Samuel and Lois so soon would m
ake it worse. She tried to control the wave of nausea that gripped her stomach. When the horse had gone only two paces, she called out, “Stop.”

  “Whooaa.” The bishop stopped the horse and looked around at her.

  “I think I’ll rest today and visit them in the morning. There’s no point in going to see them now.” She didn’t trust herself not to claim the baby and tell everyone the truth.

  “Oh, well if that’s what you think is best.” He pulled down on the brim of his hat. “All right.”

  “Are you going to be okay?” Hannah asked.

  She climbed out of the buggy. “Oh, okay,” she said. “I mean, jah, I’ll be fine.” Mary took a step back. Fine? Her best friend and William were dead; she couldn’t help them now. But, was Beth’s arrogant brother going to be raising her child now? “Denke again for notifying me. I’ll visit Samuel in the morning,” she said again as a single tear fell down her face. “Does Karen know?” Karen was visiting Jason’s relatives on a delayed ‘honeymoon’ getaway.

  “Jah, I called her at Jason’s parents' place before I came here. She had a similar reaction. Jason said they’d be back for the funeral.”

  “The three of us were so close.” Mary figured it was a good thing Karen wasn’t there because she’d surely cry on her shoulder and tell her the truth. The fewer people who knew the better, and now Rebecca was the only other person, besides the midwife, who knew the truth.

  After the bishop and Hannah had driven away, Mary headed inside on shaky legs. Walking proved to be difficult as the pangs of heartache jolted through her body. She was able to make it back to her bedroom with the help of her Aunt Gretel, who came to her aid when she saw Mary's unsteady gait.

  “I’ll bring you some broth,” Aunt Gretel said as soon as Mary was in bed under the quilt.

  Mary was completely devoid of willpower or strength. There was only emptiness and pain right then. With exhaustion coursing through her, she lost the battle for consciousness almost immediately.