The Middle-Aged Amish Widow Read online

  “She died in childbirth and the child went with her. It was to be our first kinner.” He licked his dry lips. Everyone around him knew his story and Sarah was the first person he'd had to tell it to.

  "I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be something you live with every day."

  He blinked in an effort to keep back tears.

  "I do. We were ten years hoping for a child. Veronica was such a happy woman, she didn’t let me see her pain and sorrow at seeing her friends and sisters have babies. I could feel her pain, but she kept it from me.” He looked up at Sarah and saw huge blue eyes and he knew that Sarah had a true heart and was full of kindness—like Ruth, her mother.

  “Sounds like she was a special woman.”

  "You see she had such pain in her heart and she knew I would share her pain, and she didn't want that. I think she didn’t want to upset me." He laughed. "When she found out we were having a boppli, you wouldn't have seen a happier more delighted woman. I've never seen her glow so much. Her face was lit up every day, and for it to end like that.…"

  “It’s hard to understand why things happen sometimes.”

  “She and my boppli bu were taken from me so quickly.” He couldn’t stop the tears and wiped them away with the back of his hand.

  Sarah reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. He looked into her eyes and saw her sympathetic face, and the warmth and compassion coming from her comforted him.

  “Do you have children, Sarah?”

  “Thomas and I were never able to have any.”

  “Then you might know how Veronica felt.”

  “I do. More than you know. We’re to have one, though, at the end of the year.”

  He leaned forward. “You’re having a boppli? That’s some gut news. Your husband must be overwhelmed with happiness.”

  “He was when he heard. He couldn’t stop smiling for weeks when he learned the news, but now…”

  He cut across her, “Now we know each other’s stories…”

  It was her turn to interrupt. “We each have one when we get to our ages.”

  He nodded. “I guess that’s true. It’s nice to learn more about one of Ruth’s daughters.”

  "How does it make you feel when these women in the community bring you pies?”

  "I feel horrible–just horrible. For them as well as myself. What do I say to them without upsetting them? How do I let them know I'm not interested?"

  "There's only one way. You'll have to tell them. They’ll be upset, but they’ll get over it."

  He sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings."

  "If you don't tell them, you'll only hurt them further along, and by then they might have wasted a lot of time on you.”

  “You’re right, Sarah.”

  “I know I am. They could've been baking pies for another man."

  He knew she was joking with that last comment, but what she said was true. He’d have to find the courage to be forthright with these women. He'd married the love of his life and she was all that he’d ever need.

  "Perhaps, when you're letting them down gently, don't tell them how much in love with your wife you were. It'll touch their hearts and they’ll hope that one day you’ll love them like you once loved her."

  He raised his eyebrows. "Is that how women think?" He watched Sarah nod. "How about you tell them for me, then?"

  She burst out laughing. “I'm afraid that's something you'll have to do for yourself. If I could help you I would."

  He sighed. “I know. I’ll have to do it. So, you’re selling the house for Ruth after the work is done?"

  "That's the plan so far. My mudder wants to move in with me. Oh wait—she’s already moved in with me.”

  “That’ll be a blessing, having your mudder so close. She’ll be a help with the boppli.”

  “Jah, it will be different."

  "You're blessed to still have your mudder around."

  “You don't have any familye?"

  "It's just me. Of course, Veronica's familye is here, but with her gone, and the baby too, I don't see them very often. Mine disowned me when I joined the Amish back when I was nineteen. I met and married Veronica two years after that."

  “Ach, that’s a surprise. I thought King was an Amish name. And then there’s your first name.”

  “I guess it is. I’ve known some people with the last name of King in the community, but I’m no relation. Isaac is my middle name. My first name is Warwick, but when I joined the community, I took on my middle name. It was a fresh start for a new life.”

  “That’s interesting. And you’ve had no contact with your familye?”

  “The community is my familye. It’s best to stay separate.”

  Sarah nodded.

  “So will you be selling the horse and buggy?"

  “Jah. Mamm mentioned you might be interested in the horse.”

  He chuckled. “I took Ruth to the auction and we chose the horse together. He’s a fine horse.”

  "I’m sure Mamm would like you to have the horse and buggy. She’ll have no need of them.”

  "Nee. I can't have that."

  "Why not? Don't answer that now. We can wait until the time comes, and then we'll sort things out."

  "That sounds like a reasonable idea."

  When Isaac had finished the last couple sips of his coffee, it was time to go.

  “When can you get the quotes for the materials and start work on the place?"

  “How soon would you like me to start?"

  "I just have to sort the finances out with my mudder after I know how much everything will be."

  "I'll try to have a price worked out for you by the end of the day."

  "That would be wunderbaar, denke.”

  Isaac left the house feeling like he'd made a friend. He hadn't talked to anybody about Veronica until now, because everybody here knew how she’d died. It had felt good to talk about his wife.

  Chapter 6

  Therefore know that the Lord your God,

  He is God, the faithful God who keeps

  covenant and mercy for a thousand generations

  with those who love Him and keep His commandments;

  Deuteronomy 7:9

  * * *

  That afternoon, Isaac returned to Ruth’s house. Sarah had been to town to get a large sum of money out of the bank for him to get started. It wouldn’t be enough for everything, she thought, but she was more than certain it would allow him to buy some building materials.

  He handed her three sheets of paper and she looked down at all the scribbles.

  “And what’s this?” she asked when she looked back up at him.

  “It’s the list of things that need to be done; along with what everything will cost.”

  She handed it back to him. “It’s all gobbledygook to me. Can you just give it to me straight? What will it cost?”

  “It’ll be three thousand two hundred dollars. That’s the estimate.”

  “To do everything?”

  He nodded.

  “Are you certain?”

  “So far I am, unless something else crops up that’ll need to be done.”

  “I thought it would be much more.”

  “It would be, but remember, Ruth’s not paying for labor only for materials. And I get a good discount because I buy from the same suppliers all the time. They look after me.”

  “I can give you the money right now. I went to the bank today.”

  “I won’t need it all at once.”

  “Come inside and I’ll get it for you.”

  He followed her inside and they both looked out the window by the front door when they heard a buggy.

  “Ach nee! It’s Wilma Hershberger,” Isaac said.

  “Is she a friend of my mudder’s?”

  “Nee, but for the purposes of her visit she’ll most likely pretend to be. I’m sorry to involve you in all this.”

  “In all what?”

  “Never mind.”

  Seeing the look of f
ear in Isaac’s green eyes, Sarah guessed, “She’s one of the pie ladies?”

  He nodded.

  “What should I do?”

  “She will have seen my buggy here and she’ll try to find out all about you to see if you’re competition for her.”

  “Competition for what?”

  “Competition for me.”

  Sarah burst out laughing.

  He smiled. “Don’t be like that. These women are serious in their attempts to marry me.”

  Sarah did her best to stifle her giggles. “Oh, I don’t doubt that. Sorry to sound so shocked. What do you want me to do? I can’t ask her to leave. I’ll have to invite her inside.”

  “Jah. I’ll stay for a few minutes and then make an excuse to leave. If I might ask you, though, not to let on I’ll be working on the haus here for the next few weeks? Otherwise, she’ll be here every day and I won’t get any work done.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Denke.”

  “I’ll get you that money.”

  By the time Sarah got the money, Wilma had tied up her horse and was already knocking on the door.

  Sarah opened the door with Isaac close behind her. Isaac introduced the two women and then promptly announced he was just leaving. He didn’t stay a few moments to be polite, even though he’d said he would.

  “Come in, Wilma. Would you like a cup of hot tea?” Sarah asked.

  “Jah, denke. I’d like that very much. It’s so nice to finally meet you. I think I met you before, last time you visited. Many years ago I think that was.”

  “Jah, I think so. Take a seat in the living room and I’ll be right out as soon as I put the pot on the stove.”

  Wilma ignored Sarah’s instructions and followed her into the kitchen and sat herself down at the kitchen table.

  “You know my mudder well?” Sarah asked while filling the pot with water.

  “Jah, extremely well. She said she was going to live with one of her dochder’s, so is that you?”

  “Jah, I’ve come back here to gather a few of her things and while I’m here, she’s at my place.” Sarah lit the stove, and placed the pot on the burner.

  “Have you just met Isaac?”

  “I think I met Isaac last time I was here, but neither of us can remember exactly.”

  “And are you married?”

  “I’m widowed.”

  She noticed that Wilma stiffened.

  “It’s only just happened. The funeral was just a few days ago.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  Sarah nodded. “Denke. I want nothing more to go home and look after my poor old mudder,” she said, so Wilma wouldn’t think she were romantically interested in Isaac. “And are you married, Wilma?” Sarah already knew the answer.

  “Nee. I was married briefly, but he died a year into our marriage. That was ten years ago.”

  “Ach, ten years ago?”

  Wilma nodded.

  Sarah’s heart went out to the young woman. “Then we both know the pain of losing husbands.”

  “Jah, only my pain has got easier over time, but I guess yours is still quite raw.”

  “It is. Everyone says it gets easier. I hope that’s true for me.”

  “It will be.” Wilma smiled at her. “Do you get lonely?”

  The truth was she had been lonely already in the past two years once the illness had taken ahold of her husband. It was hard to watch him slipping away from her. She missed how their relationship had been when he’d been healthy. “I haven’t had a chance for loneliness. My mudder showed up the day of the funeral and now here I am. I don’t think I’ll be lonely with Mamm living with me.”

  Right now, loneliness sounded good to Sarah. She hadn’t even had a chance to be alone and reflect upon what life without Thomas would mean. Soon, she’d go back home and then her baby would arrive while her mother would be expecting her to organize the building of the grossdaddi haus. All she wanted was to be alone and absorb the reality of what life would be like now that Thomas was gone, and prepare for the baby soon to be born.

  “Are you all right, Sarah?”

  “Jah, why?”

  “The pot is boiling.”

  Then Sarah heard the water furiously bubbling. She jumped up, took the pot off the stove and proceeded to make the tea.

  “Do you live close by?” Sarah asked when she'd sat back down with two full teacups. Wilma wasn’t an unattractive woman and she seemed quite nice and not at all a woman that a man would normally want to avoid. She had a full face with warm brown eyes, and a few wisps of sandy blonde hair were poking out from the front of her prayer kapp.

  Wilma picked up her teacup. “Denke. I don’t live that far. Can I ask what Isaac King was doing here?”

  “Isaac was… giving me a message to give to my mudder.”

  “Jah, they were gut friends. Your mudder will be greatly missed. She’s been helpful to so many.”

  Again, Sarah wondered whether they were speaking about the same person. If she hadn’t been to her mother’s house before, she would be convinced she was in someone else’s house—that would be the only thing that would make sense. The way in which Wilma and Isaac had described her mother sounded nothing at all like her perception of Mamm. “Exactly how has she been helpful?”

  “In many ways.” Wilma took a sip of tea. “She’s always there whenever anyone needs anything. She’s the person people turn to first if they don’t want to talk with the bishop about things.”

  “I see.” Sarah looked down at her tea and thought she’d better start drinking before it went cold.

  “And are your folks from around here, Wilma?”

  Wilma nodded. “They’re all in this community. I have five brothers and two sisters and they all have at least three kinner. I’m the only one with no kinner and no spouse.”

  “You have a lot of nieces and nephews?”

  “Jah, and that’s nice, but it’s not the same. I love them, of course, I do. It’s nearly like having my own, but in my heart, I crave to have my own.”

  “I know how you feel.”

  “You do?”

  Sarah nodded and realized she’d have to change the subject. If Wilma found out she was pregnant, she would pretend to be pleased for her, but it would be another blow to her. All too well, Sarah had been in the position of hearing someone’s good news of an impending birth—she would smile on the outside while on the inside thinking, ‘Why not me?’

  Sarah jumped up. “I think Mamm has some cookies in the pantry.”

  “Nee, don’t bother finding them for me. I’m watching my weight.”

  “Are you certain?”

  Wilma nodded.

  Sarah slowly slid back into the chair trying to think what they could talk about to keep the conversation from returning to Isaac. “What a pretty color your dress is.”

  “Denke. I made it just last week. I thought it might be too dark for me, but many people have said they like it.” She took another sip of tea. “How long will you be staying here for?”

  “Maybe a few weeks.”

  “It won’t take a few weeks to gather your mudder’s things, will it?”

  “Nee, but my mudder wants me to talk with some realtors about selling the haus. She said I must stay here and rest for a few weeks before I call one.”

  “That’s a strange thing.”

  “I think a rest is what I need.”

  “I don’t doubt that you do. I didn’t mean it like that. Couldn’t you have rested and then come here? It seems an odd thing that you’re here and your mudder is there.”

  A perfect arrangement, Sarah thought before she blinked rapidly under Wilma’s steely gaze.

  Did Wilma have an idea that Isaac would be there working every day for the next few weeks. Was Wilma ‘fishing’ for information? There’d be nothing worse than having Wilma under her feet every day, as well as having Isaac trying to work. She had to think of something to say and think fast. “You see, Wilma, my mudder and
I had a disagreement. I thought it best to put some distance between us, so I came here.” It wasn’t a lie. Her mother and she had disagreements all the time.

  “I can’t imagine what you’d have a disagreement about.”

  “Sometimes familye is like that. We most often hurt the ones we’re closest with.”

  “I guess that’s true,” Wilma agreed.

  Sarah continued, “So, that’s why I’m here for a few weeks, and to get used to my husband being gone. To do that, I need time alone. I can’t be alone at home now that my mudder is at my haus. Do you see?”

  “I understand completely. Before I go, I’ll write down my address so you can visit me while you’re here. If you get lonely, you can come see me. I won’t bother you since you came here to be alone.”

  Perfect! “That would be wunderbaar, denke.”

  “You will be coming to the meeting on Sunday, won’t you?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it. Where will it be?”

  “It’s at my bruder’s haus. I’ll write down that address for you too, unless you’d like me to stop by and take you there? I don’t mind at all. It’s not that much out of my way.”

  “Nee denke. It’s kind of you to offer, but it’s gut for the horse to get some exercise.”

  “Jah, of course.”

  When Wilma left, Sarah realized she had no idea when Isaac would be commencing work. She hoped it would be the very next morning.

  Chapter 7

  And Jesus, when he was baptized,

  went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him,

  and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:

  Matthew 3:16

  * * *

  “Denke for getting me out of an awkward situation yesterday,” Isaac said gruffly, hugging a basket under his arm.

  She stepped back to let him inside her mother’s house. “Gute mariye to you too,” Sarah said with a giggle.